Ride Report: 63 Miles, 1,534 Total Miles, 16.9 Avg mph, 1,772 Ft. Climbing, 4,806 Calories, 1 dehydrated rider, 1 stealth mouse encounter. More on this below...
So - 63 miles headed pretty much SE today with the first quarter of that total being possessed of a tailwind. Then the wind shifted. After that, the second quarter of the ride was a cross wind and the final half of the ride was a headwind. 30 miles of headwind, to be precise, with steady winds of 15-20 and gusts up to 25. Great fun. The icing on the cake was the temperature. I take back what I said in a post a while ago when I whined about the cool temps in the mountains. When we made it to Lander today, the temp was 92 with a heat index of 97. The results of this abuse of my integumentary system will become apparent as the reader progresses thru the post.
Oh - and I know you’re all dying to hear about the stealth mouse. So, hang on to your hats readers, here we go...
Today's events started with the stealth mouse. Somewhere around 0200 hours, Susan awoke to the sound of rustling. She immediately woke me. "I hear rustling" said my bride. I did what all husbands do in these circumstances - jumped up to investigate. While watching the living room / kitchen, I eventually spotted the little bugger. He was sitting on top of my bag of OREOS while trying his best to open that self sealing sticky top. Stupid mouse - ya can't pull the top back while you're sitting on it. I looked at him. He looked at me. Then he winked and gave me a thumbs up. I was beside myself with anger. This little monster was going to ruin all my research. I wanted desperately to stop him and get revenge for his cavalier attitude toward the wholesale theft of my Oreos.
However, having served 36 years with RCPD, my experience with revenge was somewhat limited. So I consulted with an expert. The Teamsters are widely known for "disappearing" people. When Susan heard what he was doing, her immediate response was "Off him and feed him to the fishes". She also mumbled something about introducing him to Jimmy Hoffa. Convenient, as we are located right next to a river. (If you're NYPD and reading this, check the East River.) Next thing I know she had a mouse trap in her hands and an evil gleam in her eye.
The reader should understand this about Susan. She abhors mice. In fact, she abhors the entire genus in which the common house mouse resides. If there were two genus mus left on the planet and they were in a zoo for breeding purposes, Susan would sneak into the zoo at night, execute the mice, rend them limb from limb and feed their bloody carcasses to the snakes. And with not an iota of remorse.
(This is the short version.)
At about 0400 I heard the muted snap, smiled and rolled over. When we got up in the morning...
This was the result. Taken on our front step on the way to the river. He was last seen bobbing merrily downstream while Susan laughed maniacally. Teamsters make good wives - so long as you sleep with one eye open.
And this (taken later) is what he was after. Seriously, how many could he have drug off. He shoulda just asked politely. We might have worked something out.
The ride commenced immediately following the "funeral".
And this was the interesting rock formation just off the highway as we turned to head South to Lander.
And this was less than two miles down the road. While I'm obstructing the reader's view of it, there is a bighorn sheep crossing sign behind me. This rock formation is amazing.
There were several other interesting geological features today. This was one. I think I have a basic understanding of how these things develop, but still find them interesting to cogitate upon.
And this is another. The reader may observe that we've moved from the igneous rock of the Tetons to the sedimentary rock of the (almost) plains.
I believe I mentioned that it was hot and windy today. This is what ya look like when you're hot and dehydrated. This was after the second quarter of the ride, which I characterized as the toughest of the day. I think I sucked down a Gatorade and a couple cans of Diet Pepsi. I felt human after about 45 minutes.
This is what most of today looked like and was taken from the top of the toughest climb of the day - into the wind at 7%. There's just a whole lotta whole lotta out there. Although, interestingly, there was one female pronghorn antelope near the fence where it disappears in the distance.
And then it was back to the Oreo research. Having tested the vegetable food group yesterday, today's test subject was the meat group. Specifically, deli sliced ham and turkey. This is ham - along with the obligatory ranch dressing. Another winner! And to think, that greedy little mouse put all this in jeopardy.
And 63 miles later when Susan got to the RV Park (I had beat her there since she stopped at Safeway to pick up a few things) she had this with her. God bless teamsters! About 10 minutes later it was all gone. And my dehydration issues were resolving. You know what happens when ya eat asparagus. Watermelon - just sayin...
Till next time.
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