The Thin Blue Ride - Part 2 Day 55 - Larned, KS to Nickerson, KS

Saturday, August 3rd, 2019

Reader alert:  Readers who may be put off by my maudlin summation of the day should wait for tomorrow's post.  In the alternative, select your "best of" and read them again.  I do...

Ride Report: Miserable - and yes, this will merit further discussion below.  I’m tempted to leave it at that, but feel obliged to provide the typical details, so here they are: 59 Miles, 2,444 Total Miles, 17.1 Avg. mph, 417 Ft. Climbing, 4,326 Calories.

The morning started off with fog and mist.  The fog had pretty much lifted by the time I left The Rig at about 0800, but the mist had not.  The casual reader may believe this to be a good thing.  Clouds to obscure the sun, mist to cool the rider, presumably cooler morning temperatures - these are good things, right?  Not.

The clouds provide the mist, but the humidity was off the charts this morning.  And the temperatures weren't any cooler than previous days.  What this all boils down to is that when riders sweat in these conditions, there's no place for it to go.  It can't evaporate.  This was evident when, at the first rest stop, I pulled in and squeezed out both my riding gloves.  Initial estimates are about two tablespoons of "moisture" in each.  Then came the Headsweats I wear under my helmet.  Pretty much the same - maybe a bit more.  This to say nothing of of my jersey, Underarmour shirt, and riding shorts - tho they all remained on my person.  According to Susan a guy can only take off so much apparel at a rest stop.  Apparently there are rules for this sort of thing.  The net result of all this moisture is a generally icky feel to the ride.  But there's nothing to be done about it other than than to get done and call it a day.

So, when on top of this, Stafford and Reno Counties joined in a competition to see which County could most severely neglect the road upon which I transited between the two this morning, it just sorta added to the misery.  Stafford County tried some trickery.  There was fresh asphalt, but they had subscribed to the tablespoon and a boot heel method of laying it down.  You know, one guy with a pickup load of asphalt tosses it out with a tablespoon and stomps it flat with his boot heel.  Reno County went with plain old neglect.  Pavement seams, tons of tared potholes, tons of un-tarred potholes, random selections of the four separate layers of pavement peeling off, chip seal that looked as if it had been scattered by Johnny Appleseed, you get the idea.  It was, indeed, a spirited competition, but I'm gonna declare Reno County the winner.  Roads like that just wear a rider out.  And they went on for about 30 miles.  I was more than glad to get back to a  real highway - with only 9 miles left in the day.

So, here's the day in pics...

Quintessential Kansas - except for the limited sight distance.  This isn't fog - this is how humid it was this morning.  Even after I could no longer feel the mist falling, my glasses were constantly fogged up.

About ten minutes later it had lifted a bit, but still not enough to see more than three utility poles down the road.  If you've been in this part of Kansas before, you know it's so flat that typically you'd need a calculator to figure out how many utility poles you could see.

It's a ways off in the distance, but there are a lot of these nodding donkeys around here.  The smell of working oil wells was a constant companion today.

This is the first rest stop.  I try and avoid giving the reader a chance to see me sans head gear, but as I mentioned previously, I took it off to wring it out.  Interestingly, there was an organized bike ride along my route today.  The couple with Susan are John and Gloria.  They had set up a SAG (Support And Gear) for the ride and were prepared to give riders watermelon, jelly beans, home made cookies and iced wash cloths with which to cool down.  They were kind enough to offer them to me.  I skipped the jelly beans and cookies.  (This should inform the reader as to my disposition at the time.)   It also turned out that I probably rode a good number of BAKs with them, but never had the pleasure to meet them until today.  Oh yeah - that's Susan beside them keeping them organized.  Wait - maybe this is why I had to keep my other gear on?

Kansas wildflowers growing beside round bales.  Does it get better than that?

The reader may note a couple of things in this pic.  First, the previously complained of "fresh asphalt".  While you can't see it, there are equipment tire tracks, ridges and holes scattered throughout.  Second, the Quivera National Wildlife Refuge sign.  At one point there was a scenic overlook for Quivera.  This is a big deal since the landscape was pretty much flat.  But one small hill presented itself and the Department of the Interior took advantage.  I could see Quivera as I rode by.  I know it's a big deal for migrating waterfowl and all, but in all honesty, I wouldn't come out here for the scenic overview.  Just sayin...

This seemed like an interesting possibility - so I kept my eyes open.  Unfortunately I also had my mouth open and swallowed a rather substantially sized flying bug of some sort.  In my defense, there were bugs everywhere - the sun having thus far failed to make its appearance and drive them back to the shadows where they belong.  And no, no amount of violent coughing would dislodge it.  At some point ya just surrender and swallow.  Oh - I saw no wildlife.

This was a sad, but not uncommon scene along the route today.  Whaddya think readers?  Abandoned in the last 15-20 years maybe?  Once again, an all to common theme in rural Kansas.

So, at the end of a 59 mile day, the Nickerson Methodist church was kind enough to let us set up shop for the night.  This being Saturday, we'll have to vacate in time for their Sunday morning service.  Which shouldn't be a problem, since...

It starts at 0900 according to the sign.  These Methodists are nice people, just don't beat 'em to the Pizza Hut buffet after services conclude.  Could be the start of an internecine conflict.  And that wouldn't do anybody's reputation any good...

Till next time.

The Thin Blue Ride - Part 2 Day 54 - Bazine, KS to Larned, KS

Friday, August 2nd, 2019

Ride Report:  53 Miles, 2,385 Total Miles, 14.8 Avg. mph, 673 Ft. Climbing, 3,487 Calories.  A bit short on the mileage today, but given the distances between towns out here, not much choice.  So, Larned: The destination of choice.  (The local Chamber paid me to say that.)

We were up bright and early this morning.  Well, more accurately put, Susan and the morning were bright and early.  Me - not so much.  And just in time to hear pitter patter on the roof of The Rig. Pitter patter on The Rig’s roof means one of two things: birds (after this much time in The Rig I've learned to distinguish between the running variety and the hopping variety) or rain.  Since there was no concomitant chirping, squawking or other “birdy” noises, I opted for rain.  “Accuweather” radar confirmed same.

BTW - as of last night, this morning was supposed to be cloudy with winds out of the NW, which would have been a tailwind.  Instead, we get rain and winds out of the SE.  To quote Gomer Pyle, “Surprise, surprise.”   I’ve figured out how to accurately predict the weather.  Check out “Accuweather” and plan for the opposite.  What this meant for the start of the day was a rain delay.  I opted for a 1.5 hour nap.  I wanted pics of this momentous occasion, but my nap picture taker was...napping.  It's so hard to find good help now days.  The nap didn't improve my disposition concerning "AccuWeather", but  I suspect the reader may tire of my many and varied gripes on that topic, so I shall move on - until I feel like doing it again.

Once commenced, the day went well but for the wind, which sucked.  Everyone always thinks the wind blows - it doesn't, it sucks.  Check out the day...

This was actually taken last night when we got to Bazine and is where we set up camp for the night.  On the grassy lot immediately East of the Lutheran Church.  We tried to call ahead, but the number had been disconnected.  Turns out that this was because the Church had closed its doors and been sold off.  The guy who bought the parsonage (on the other side of the church) also bought the church and the entire city block on which they both sit.  So, I guess that makes him the local Pope?

Susan likes this one.  Recall the Wildcat cup that my Sister, Deanna, made for Susan?  Well, I dunno if the reader can tell from the many pics of her - but Susan isn't a large woman.  Don't get me wrong - this is better than the alternative.  But it meant that her hand wasn't big enough to pick up the Wildcat cup.  So, Deanna made her a replacement.  This one is smaller and of The Thin Blue Ride variety.  Pretty sharp.  Used by permission of Susan Schoen Photography, LLC.

I found this on the hillside East of Bazine.  I didn't have a problem with it, but suggested that before He took over, He inquire of the local Teamster Rep.  He reported back shortly that The Teamster Rep. wasn't about to step on the Air Line Pilot's Association's (ALPA) toes and bowed out.  OK then - we're good to go.  The hoped for scenario is eternity in a city with gold streets.  This should also free up both hands for taking selfies. 

When I made it to Alexander, the local elevator needed some propping up, so I helped out.  When Susan saw this pic she said that I wasn't smiling.  This is what I get from the peanut gallery.  Maybe she should try holding up an elevator - it's not as easy as it looks.  

Also on the outskirts of Alexander (they're small skirts) sits this rest stop.  An air conditioned lobby, bathrooms, water, picnic tables - it was very well kept.  I gotta think it has something to do with the T/A running thru town.

And just to add a little old west flavor to the day, this infotainment sign was at the rest stop as well.

We also found this guy at the rest stop.  His name is Adrian.  Well, I say we, but Susan found him since she got there first.  She called me and asked if it would be OK to throw Adrian's panniers (70 pounds worth according to Adrian) into The Rig and then he and I could trade pulls to Rush Center some 13 miles down the road.  I was fine with it - always glad for company and someone to share the load.  Adrian is recently retired and riding the T/A aiming for 50-60 miles per day.  He started the day in Ness City and stopped in Rush Center - though he later decided to go 4 miles off route North to La Crosse for a rest day.  Can't say as I blame him - not much available in Rush Center.  And the County Fair is underway in La Crosse.

I guess the sign about says it all.  Apparently Rush Center is a bit insular, no one there having heard of the big parade in New York City.

We had lunch with Adrian in The Rig and then he and I parted ways.  However, as Susan bustled about getting stuff for us both to eat (it was lunch time), Adrian asked her if she had ever been a stewardess?  We both laughed, having discussed this previously.  My take?  She's plenty cute enough, but a bit short for the whole overhead bin thing.  Anyway...

After Rush Center it was 20 miles into a 15-20 mph headwind to get to the intersection of highways 183 and 156, where I would turn East on 156 for Larned.  As I said earlier, wind sucks.  But when I got there...

...I had to wait 7 minutes for three of these to turn left in front of me before I was able to head East.  If you think it looks big here...

...check this out.  Wind turbine blades, for those unfamiliar with them.  These things are so long that the three axles on the rear of the trailer each have articulated steering.  So, the driver turns the rig around the corner, and then steers the rear of the trailer around the corner when it finally gets there.  I'm pretty sure the back of the trailer was in a different time zone.  Amazing.

A scene near and dear to my heart.  The big guy is nearest the camera and his little brother is in the distance.  I remember my Dad plowing with a 3 gang x 16 inch plow when I was a kid.  It took forever to do 40 acres.

Sitting just 6 miles West of Larned is the Ft. Larned national historical site.  We didn't go in since I'd previously seen it on a cross state BAK ride.  Delta loves the whole cavalry thing and imagines himself a modern day steed.  His favorite song is Bon Jovi's "Wanted Dead or Alive."  What can I say - he has excellent taste in music.  It's worth listening to - check it out on YouTube.  Especially if you're under 30.

And then there was this.  Interestingly, Susan volunteered to set up my Google Maps to get me to our planned destination in Larned during my last rest stop with her in The Rig.  This was curious as she'd not offered to do so before, but being the trusting type and entirely lacking a suspicious nature, I assented.  Then when I make it to this sign, the darn thing interrupts my tunes to tell me, "Turn right in 600 feet and your destination will be on the right."  Hmmm...  She's gonna have to work smarter, not harder.

Till next time.

The Thin Blue Ride - Part 2 Day 53 - Manhattan, KS to Bazine, KS (By RV)

Thursday, August 1st, 2019

Ride Report: None - we’re back on the road to Bazine to resume The Thin Blue Ride.

Yes readers, you certainly are getting an early treat today.  As fate would have it we got everything done (we think) in time to return to Bazine this afternoon rather than tomorrow morning.  This will get me one day of riding back, since if we'd left tomorrow morning, there likely wouldn't have been time to also ride 60+ miles that same day.  So - as it stands now, it looks like we'll be hitting the road in The Rig this afternoon, and I'll hit the road with Delta in the morning.

But this all avoids the question at the forefront of the reader's mind.  Specifically, "Where the heck is Bazine, KS?"  Well - we here at The Thin Blue Ride aim to please.  Knowing this question would come up, I had the cartography department work something up for ya.

There ya go - Bazine is the red dot.  Looks like 197 miles and about 3:05 to get there, using a typical automobile and driving at about the speed limit.  Add a half hour or so for The Rig.  

BTW - since most of you haven't been to the Schoen Spread for a while (if ever), here's how things are shaping up this summer.  Looks better than when I'm here working on it.  Gonna have to let the crew handling the work detail know to back things off a bit, otherwise Susan will figure it out and come to expect this.  And yes - that red thing in the garage is...

...my baby.  She needed some love when we got back since she hadn't been starting for a couple of weeks according to the crew handling interior inspections for us.  So, yesterday she was off to the local repair shop for a check-up.  Turns out the starter solenoid had gone bad.  At least the flapper thingy was still fine.  The shop likes having her out since repairs are so straightforward and easy to diagnose.  Plus, they're car guys.  I had two people talk to me today and tell me they liked her.  In the past I've come out of stores to find notes on the windshield offering to buy her - some with a price quoted and a phone number.  BTW - she gets roughly the same gas mileage as The Rig.  No kiddin.  But they're really fun miles.

And what with us headed out on the road again, it means that some of the conveniences of home will once again go by the wayside for a time.

For example, I'll be trading this...

...for this.  Until we bought The Rig, I never needed a choreographer to shower.  I mean, it's not like I have the guy on retainer or anything, but I did need one to work out my routine in order to be able to wash everything and then dry off.  It's quite the intricate little, not for public consumption, dance.  Listen, If you've never showered in an RV for over two months, ya can't really appreciate an actual shower with a hot water tank that holds more than 6 gallons.

My apologies for the brevity of recent posts and the paucity of interesting things to look at and/or talk about.  Sometimes ya just gotta roll with what the day brings.  Back to riding tomorrow tho.  I'm ready.  We'll head out shortly after Susan gets back from the grocery store and the bank.  Now all we gotta do is figure out where to set up tonight in the square half mile or so that is Bazine.

Till next time.

TheThin Blue Ride - Part 2 Days 51 & 52 - Hays, KS to Manhattan, KS (By RV)

Tuesday July 30th and Wednesday July 31st, 2019

Ride Report: None - unless ya count driving The Rig from Hays to Manhattan.  I don’t.  Readers who disagree should submit their written requests that I reconsider no later than August 5th.  I’ll pretend to think about it - and then stick with my original plan.

Tuesday, July 30th...

Flo gets the correct discombobulator in from KC and into The Rig it goes - by 0930 no less.  He starts the rig.  The same random cylinders fire and the same error codes show up on his secret squirrel decoder.  Well then.  We both hit the internet and are coming up with some of the same issues - giving the flatulator time to “re-learn” the discombobulator’s operation chief among them.  We try it. Nope. Carbon build up in the big flapper thingy that replaced carbeurators.  We try it. It looks pretty clean to us.  We stare at each other out of the corners of our eyes - knowing that cleaning it won’t make a difference, but neither of us willing to say so.  Flo cleans and re-installs it.  Nope.  Neither of us say I told you so.

Flo goes to get the boss.  “Well, ya gotta see if the signal is making it from the discombobulator to the big flapper thingy.  If it is, ya gotta replace the big flapper thingy.  Ford considers big flapper thingys wear-out parts, it mighta wore out.”  Flo and I are skeptical, but Flo says the boss man knows his big flapper thingys.  It occurs to me that this is a good thing for a man to know. We try it.  SUCCESS!

Says the boss, “Yeah, that’s why Ford has integrated the discombobulator into the big flapper thingy now.  Wasn’t that way when they built your rig.  Ya can see how hard that makes it to diagnose problems with big flapper thingys.”   This was followed by a string of cursing which would embarrass the entire US Navy coupled with the boss’s assurances that they usually don’t have problems like this figuring things out.  Where was this guy three days ago?

We let The Rig idle for 20 minutes (per Ford technical bulletin instructions when replacing big flapper thingys) and WA-LA!  We’re good to go.  We depart forthwith.  Well, forthwith AFTER parting with slightly less than 1.2k for the parts and the Herculean efforts of Flo and the boss man.  There was no surcharge for the lesson in cursing.

This is Flo with the new discombobulator.  After seeing this pic, I encouraged him to move to New York and become a hand model.  He declined.  Says hand modeling isn't in his blood like wrenching is.

Flo removing the big flapper thingy - the first time.  On the third attempt he did it blindfolded just to win a bet.  Susan was upset when she had to pay up.  This is why we'll never go to Vegas.

But once we were on the road again, it looked just like it does from a bike, except it goes by a little faster.  This was taken between Salina and Manhattan.

Coming into Manhattan from the West.  The reader should note the KS sign on the hill in the distance.  They don't have one of those at KU, and for good reason.  No one there can spell KU.

This is what ya get to do after being gone for a little over two months - go thru a giant bag of mail.  I think there were maybe a dozen pieces worth investigating.

Wednesday, July 31st...

Not much going on today worth using film on.  Film is expensive, and Teamsters run a tight budgetary ship.  So instead, we're gonna do something new and different today.  Oh OK - it's neither new nor different, but Internet Bonus Points (IBP) are on the line.

There will be 100 IBPs  for the first reader who can succinctly describe the common theme in today's pics.  But ya can't be anonymous.  Ya gotta leave your name so I can have my marketing department mail ya the IBPs.  It will arrive looking just like a Menard's rebate coupon.  So if ya shop at Menards, that rebate coupon is really from me.

While out running errands this morning it occurred to me that it was nearly 1030 and I hadn't taken a selfie yet.  This is it.  I was stopped at a stop light.  I'm quite safety conscious and not so foolish as to take selfies while in motion.  Note the seat belt.

Later this evening Susan and I had dinner at a local Chinese restaurant.  Our favorite closed due to flooding several months ago.  So now we eat at The Happy Valley.  No, it's not a real valley - it's the name of the restaurant.

After that it was off to Wal-Mart to stock up for the next leg of the trip.  I feel kinda like a pioneer stocking up the covered wagon for a trip west.  Glad my last name is Schoen instead of Donner.  I gotta believe that if we got stuck in the Wal Mart parking lot and had to resort to cannabilism to survive, Wal-Mart wouldn't look kindly on it.  They might even bar us from staying overnight ever again.

Like I said, not much worthy of film today.

Till next time...

The Thin Blue Ride - Part 2 Day 50 - Hays, KS

Monday, July 29th, Hays, KS

Ride Report: None - Second Unplanned Repair Day In Hays

A quick review of nothing more than the ride report should indicate to the competent reader that repair of The Rig did not go as planned today...

Flo contacted the various auto parts stores in Hays (there being, apparently, eight such establishments) and was unable to come up with a discombobulator compatible with The Rig.  Oh there were discombobulators to be had, discombobulators out the wazoo in fact, but all of them identical to the non-functional one Flo installed yesterday.  Being not the sharpest knife in the drawer, even I picked up on the fact that when last the discombobulator was discussed, the idea was to find another one - one identical to the one that was "...bad out of the box..." yesterday.  When queried as to this matter, Flo told me that a guy with more experience than the guy who sold him the discombobulator on Sunday was working at the auto supply store this morning and immediately recognized that Flo had acquired the wrong discombobulator.  Apparently we needed the one that DIDN’T look like a triangle with rounded corners.

An aside - That auto parts guys can identify the appropriate part by whether it has rounded corners or angular ones is beyond me.  How do ya find a guy who knows the individual shapes of thousands of parts on the zillion car models out there?  "Do ya want the hexagonal shaped frazzlemeter or the one shaped like a rhomboid?"

When Flo breaks the news to me, I inquire and he lets me know that the local store can get the appropriate discombobulator, but that they have to order it and it won’t arrive till Tuesday morning at 0800.  I then volunteer to hop on the Burgman and go get it, only to find that its currently in Kansas City.  Well then.  That ain’t happening.

Second aside - Do auto parts warehouses have enough parts to actually build any given make/model of car from parts inventory?  If so, can the reader imagine the size of that warehouse?  And then, how do ya find the necessary part in a warehouse that covers acres and acres?  This amazes me. But then again, it remains to be seen that they find the right part.  I shall hold my amazement in abeyance...

But back to the story.  Flo tells me that he can have us on the road by tomorrow morning: 1100 at the absolute latest.  Probably earlier.  I go report my findings to the local Teamsters Rep.  She’s on the phone with her sister-in-law, Ronda, who happens to reside in KC.  Hmmm...do ya suppose...  But no, that won’t work.  Ronda isn’t an auto parts store kinda lady and wouldn’t recognize a discombobulator from a dazinkin - I can’t have her do it.  And I’d still have to get the part to Hays, KS.  Nope - better to just let nature take its course.  (In all fairness to Ronda, if ya need somebody to inform you concerning the etiquette of...pretty much anything - she's your gal.)

So - here we sit - still.  But as I tell Susan regularly now, “Hey, we’re retired.  What do we have we got to do all day anyway?”  I had always considered this a rhetorical question.  But the self evident answer is: Live on the street outside an auto repair shop in an RV.  As a result, we're considering taking up permanent residency in Kentucky.  We should fit right in.

Which brings me to today’s pics.  Again - not many.  C’mon, it’s Hays, KS - gimme a break.

After whiling away the morning, we went over the the local eye doctor's office.  Turns out that Susan's Dad had an appointment there today.  He does his eye doctorin in Hays.  These are my feet in the waiting room along with a profile shot of a guy I don't know. 

The entire time I was riding thru Oregon, Idaho, Montana, and Wyoming I wanted to see a moose.  Did I see a moose?  No.  I became bitter and sullen whenever moose came up as a topic of conversation - which admittedly was less frequent as we made it to eastern Colorado.  Moose talk had all but disappeared in Kansas.  But today I saw this...

...in an advertisement in a magazine at the eye doctor's office.  This is why I didn't see any moose in the aforementioned states - they were all vacationing in freakin Minnesota.  Prolly come back to the mountain west this winter with weird French/Canadian accents.  Not that I'm bitter or anything...

Just to have something exciting to do we went to The Home Depot.  Turns out that when we boondock (set up camp with no services - particularly electricity) things are fine so long as we run the generator.  It powers the fan (as well as the A/C generally) in our bedroom suite here in The Rig.  But when we turn off the generator, no power to fan = hot, cranky nighttime Teamster.  This baby is a Milwaukee 18 volt cordless fan.  I already have the charger and two batteries in my shop at home.  If ever The Rig can move again, we'll pick em up there and solve this sweaty nighttime Teamster problem. 

Me, Susan's Dad, Howard, her Mom, Joyce, and Susan saying goodbye after the doctor visit today.  The van is provided by Solomon Valley Transportation out of Mitchell County.  The service is offered to local residents for a small fee.  This is a big deal - and I'm sure, much appreciated by everyone in the area.

Since we have confidence that Flo will get The Rig running tomorrow, we elected to load the Burgman tonight.  This is Susan after driving it onto the trailer.  The reader will, no doubt, immediately notice that the usual radiant smile is absent in this pic.  Teamsters don't take kindly to being asked to drive anything with only two wheels.  The more the merrier - apparently.

So there ya have it.  Another exciting day in Hays, America.  If Flo doesn't get The Rig going tomorrow I may commit suicide by rubber dinosaur at the Sternberg Museum.  I ain't explainin - Goodle it.

Till next time.

The Thin Blue Ride - Part 2 Day 49 - Hays, KS

Sunday, July 28th, 2019

Ride Report: None - Unplanned Repair Day in Hays, KS.  There's a new one for ya, eh?  Details below...

As the consistent reader knows, The Rig blew a gasket (I speak metaphorically in this instance, all you mechanics out there calm down.  The technical explanation will come later.) yesterday and needed a crutch in the form of a Kenworth wrecker to get to Hays for repair.  When we made the call to come up here, we figured to be here till Tuesday when the shop said they could effect repairs.  However, we also knew that one of the shop mechanics was gonna come by about noon today to determine what the issue was and order the necessary part(s) in order that they get here Monday, in time for Tuesday's planned repair.

So, first up on the agenda - sleep late.  We made it to 0730.  Hey, after two months of Susan's phone chirping at 0651 (time for a 9 minute snooze, doncha know) or earlier - I'm not complaining.  And  knowing that we were gonna be here till Tuesday we elected to unleash the Burgman for errands, dinner and the like...

This is me first thing this morning backing the Burgman down the ramp to freedom: 650 cc's of raw, variable speed transmissioned, retractable mirrored, custom seated, muscle - that purrs like a kitten and fails to frighten old ladies upon the (indistinguishable) sound of its approach.

Sure enough, about noon today (Sunday) there's a knock on our door and who do we find when we open up but Flo - the expected repair guy.  Not only is he here to figure out what part we need, but he says the parts stores are open and he can do the repair today.  Great.  But that means we unloaded the scooter for no reason since, if the repair is completed today - we head back to Bazine for two more days of riding before heading to Manhattan.

So, Flo plugs his super secret mechanic's magic box into The Rig, pushes some buttons, waits for the magic box to click and make sounds like a one-armed-bandit, then pronounces that there are 5 (not one or two, but five) error codes on the discombobulator.  This is a problem, because the discombobulator is connected to the frangulator, and if the frangulator isn't working right, the gas pedal can't talk to the nebulizers that squirt fuel into the sparky place.  Well - now that we know this, the answer to the problem is obvious - Flo and I agree.  So he calls the local auto parts store and they happen to have one discombobulator in stock for an 05 Ford E-450 van equipped with a 6.8 litre V-10 engine.  This Flo guy is a genius - and the store has a part in stock!  And the parts store will deliver the part!   How lucky is that?  I prolly can't give this guy enough money.

Flo then goes back to the shop to further ponder the frailties of discombobulators and about ten minutes later wanders back with a box that would hold maybe 7 dominoes.  This, he pronounces is the requisite discombobulator.  He takes out the air filter, loosens two screws, and unplugs thingys from both ends of the old discombobulator.  "Yup, there's your problem right there."  I agree smugly - all the time wondering what precisely goes on inside a discombobulator that makes it worth $130 - plus tax.  Did Henry Ford know about these?

Flo reverses the disconnection process, and moves to the driver's seat.  He starts The Rig.  A misnomer, he apparently starts a randomly selected group of cylinders in the V-10 engine - just enough to make it almost idle.  This condition persists until the engine tires of the charade and stops running entirely.  Thereafter, Flo shuts off the engine,  hooks up his super secret magic mechanic's box and pronounces that...wait for it..."There are 5 (not one or two, but five) error codes on the new discombobulator."  Flo looks at me and adds, "This is why it sucks to be a mechanic.  Sometimes these electronic parts are bad out of the box."  But Flo, I say pleadingly, we already put the chairs inside The Rig in their "travel" locations.  "Yup - sorry to tell ya, looks like you're spending another night here."  I was distressed.  Susan was non-plussed about the whole repair thing.  Teamsters have been thru this before.

As a result, we took my cousin Deb Niermeier up on her offer to drive to Hays from Stockton, KS with my Aunt Vera in order to have dinner with us at the local Chinese Buffet.  She apparently reads my blog religiously (as do all my readers, I'm sure) and knew we were in nearby Hays. 

Me, Deb, Aunt Vera and Susan after eating too much at the buffet.  Then it was back to...

The Rig - firmly ensconced street-side at Ward's Auto Repair in Hays, KS.  Our home for the second night.  We hope to hit the road tomorrow - if one of the other auto parts stores in Hays has a discombobulator in stock.

On the off chance that such is not the case and that the reader happens to know where we can locate a good quality discombobulator, please call Wards with a tip.  No cheap stuff - this one has to actually dscombobulate.  All callers will remain anonymous and a small finder's fee may apply.

Till next time...