The Thin Blue Ride - Part 2 Day 66 - Yukon, MO to Ellington, MO

Tuesday, August 13th, 2019

Ride Report:  YOWZA - THERE WUZ SOME HILLS TODAY!!!!!  Sorry readers, Delta started the blog today and I caught him just in time.  Gonna have to change my password I guess.  Now for the real ride report: 59 Miles, 2,938 Total Miles, 14.6 Avg. mph, 4,636, Ft.Climbing, 5,225 Calories.  I earned my whopper with fries today, let me tell ya.  Unfortunately, there isn’t a BK within probably 50 miles of Ellington, MO - population 960ish.  But I must say that while I don’t appreciate Delta’s form (who wants to be yelled at on-line) his sentiment is spot on.  There were some whoppers today.  Who’da thunk that I’d get climbing numbers to rival, and in some cases exceed, the mountain west?  And the fat lady ain’t sung yet - there’s more to come before we get out of Missouri and the Ozarks.  More on this as it develops.

But on with the day in pics…

Just in case the reader has been wondering how I fuel these multiple thousands of calorie days, it isn’t all fun and games.  Nor is it all Oreos, Hostess Cupcakes and chocolate chip cookie dough.  No-siree-bob.  There’s actual food involved.  It was baked potato night at The Rig last night.  Just take a look at all the goodness a guy can stack on one plate.  Ya start with a layer of baked potato, slather on the fake butter and sour cream, diced rotisserie chicken from Wal-Mart, diced onion, some sliced mushrooms (just cause they’re in the fridge),  then top it off with cheddar cheese and nuke it till the cheese glows.  Heaven on a plate.  The reader should be aware that I usually have a green vegetable on there as well (typically broccoli) but we had none available.  So – you health food types - if the only thing wrong with dinner last night was a lack of vegetables, stow it.

Camp last night was the Big Creek Freewill Baptist Church.  That’s a mouthful.  But it was located right on the route about ¾ mile South of Yukon.  Couldn’t ask for a better set-up.  When we pulled in, sitting by the church was a WB tourer.  I chatted him up enough to find out that he was a welder in his previous life (now retired) and on his way to California to see the Sequoias.  Well then - I can't think of a better reason to ride a bike coast-to-coast.  Readers?  Typically I’d have a pic with him and his name, but honestly – I was so beat I mainly wanted to get to The Rig and cool down.  Susan forced an ice cream sandwich on him – he was grateful.

This, readers, is a wild turkey.  No – not of the guzling variety, for those of you who imbibe, the gobbling variety.  There were two of ‘em running around in a field next to the road as I went past.  I stopped for this pic and they got edgy, so I could only get one in the pic.  BTW – it was wildlife day today.  I saw lizards, deer, a woodchuck (boy was he surprised when I got about 20 feet away) and fish.  And in an unusual move for Missouri, they were all alive – as opposed to road kill, of which there is plenty around here.  I’m pretty sure the state smell of Missouri is decomposing opossum or armadillo.

I thought this was nice.  Summerville, MO has “Veterans Park Square” – it says so right there on the sign.  Which also reminds the reader, “If you love your freedom THANK A VET.”  Speaking as a veteran myself, you’re welcome.

I had an idea what this sign portended.  And I was right.  Rivers in hills like this are like the Sirens of Greek mythology.  They sing a sweet downhill song getting there, then ya gotta pay the piper for that downhill ride.  And today we paid dearly for that 47 mph downhill: two miles of 6-15%.  Did the reader catch that? FIFTEEN PERCENT!  I was turning the pedals at about 45 rpm during those stretches.  And this happened multiple times today.  But as the reader can see from the pic, we from Kansas were here today to teach these hills a lesson.  Turns out it was a lesson in swearing at hills by the time I got to the top.  All under my breath, of course.

In fact, this is what the elevation chart for today’s ride looked like on the ACA map.  We went from Yukon, on the left, to Ellington, on the right.  If you’re unfamiliar with these things, any time a line goes straight up, it spells trouble…

This is the first one of these we’ve seen in Missouri.  By this time Delta was like, “What?  Now?  We’ve been doing this for three straight days and now they have a sign?”

This was one of those pics I just had to take.  I don’t know if they look the same to the reader, but a sweeping downhill curve that disappears into the trees is cool in my book.  Delta’s too, apparently.  Ya just don’t know what to expect around that corner.  Which is why they’re fun to take at speed.

But it’s obviously not all downhill.  I’ve named this pic, “Top of the 15% hill face.”  I think it captures my sentiments nicely.  I don't remember if this was the second or third iteration of this face.  It doesn't really matter.

First, not the difference between this face and the face in the previous pic.  Rivers always come at the bottom of hills.  This is me and the Current River (I know, I know, but I don’t name em) just before reaching Ellington today.  It also happens to be one of Missouri’s “wow factor” moments.  It was clear enough one could see the bottom of the river…

…and clear enough that I could take a picture of this fish in the water 100 ft. below me and maybe 50 ft. to the side.  So, one of you geometry geniuses out there - use that Pythagorean Theorem stuff and let us all know how far away from me that fish was when I took the pic.  And you all wondered why I mentioned fish earlier in the post when I said I’d seen a lot of wildlife today.  Unfortunately, …

…not everything I could see on the river bottom was supposed to be there.  Who drives over a bridge and says, “Hey – let’s take a tire off our car and throw it down there just to see what happens?”  They must have called a wrecker afterwards since the car wasn’t still sitting on the bridge.  I can't imagine anyone like that bothering to carry a spare.  Only in Missouri.

 

Susan stumbled across this today.  I guess we can all tell who the odd man out is in this threesome.  Sucks to be a llama in a horse’s world, I guess.  Poor llama, abandoned by horses.  (Used by permission of Susan Schoen Photography, LLC.)

This is Susan – abandoning me and driving away.  I’m gonna go hang out with the llama – he’ll understand.

Till next time.

The Thin Blue Ride - Part 2 Day 65 - Marshfield, MO (+9) to Yukon, MO

Monday, August 12

We interrupt this post for breaking news from “AccuWeather”.  This in the form of a screenshot taken by yours truly upon reaching the last town before today's planned destination.  So at this point we're 53 miles into a 63 mile day - 10 more to go...

See that big "94" in the upper left?  Yeah - forget that.  Look just below it where it says "Real Feel 110".  That's what "AccuWeather" calls the heat index and that was the reading when we passed thru Houston - yes in Missouri.  Who knew?  And it felt all of that.  For the last 15 miles, I asked Susan to spot me every 5 miles just in case things went south and I had to call the day off a bit early.  She was a trooper.  At the last stop just 5 miles from our destination she was standing beside The Rig with a cold bottle of orange juice.  Just what the Dr. ordered.  We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming...

Ride Report:  63 Miles, 2,879 Total Miles, 15.5 Avg. mph, 3,727 Ft. Climbing, 5,023 Calories.  Not quite as much climbing as yesterday, and yet again this is reflected in the Avg. mph which was slightly higher today.  And I gotta tell ya, it was pretty miserable riding today after about the first 90 minutes.  But this is the way of things.  We won’t ever get to the East Coast if I sit around waiting for good conditions.

So - here's how today shaped up.

Delta with one of the few sections of flat road we've seen since entering Missouri.  For a brief stint today, we followed a river to the next town.  I think this lasted something like 4 miles.  It was a nice break from the Missouri roller coaster.

Still early in the day.  The reader can tell because there is no sweat dripping from my brow.  Delta hates being dripped on.  Serves him right, as snarky as he's been lately.

A "cool old barn" shot.  I liked the tree covered hill in the background.  Not so much because it was behind the barn as because it wasn't in front of me with the road going over it.  I think that's the only hill we saw today that we didn't climb.

We passed over several of these creeks before I figured out what was bothering me about them.  There's no mud.  Somebody came in and put landscape rock everywhere.  Plus, ya can see the bottom of the creek THRU the water.  Unheard of - in Kansas. 

Another highway shot.  Note that in Missouri shoulders are catch as catch can.  The one ahead of Delta in this pic lasts for another 20 feet and is then covered by overgrowth.  On one occasion (not here) we were riding on the road and the weeds/grass were 4 ft. high and encroaching on the roadway.  Ya know how you can occasionally go thru a neighborhood with tree lined streets and see where big trucks have "trimmed" the trees overhead.  It was that way with the roadside overgrowth.  I could tell that cars had "trimmed" it back so it was even with the white line.

This is the farthest I've been able to see since entering Missouri.  The reader should note the haze obscuring the hills in the distance. More humidity.  Actually, the same humidity - different day.

I also got this view of distant hills.  I think this was at a rest stop late in the day.  I gotta say, it's tough to want to stop and take pics in weather like this.  The only break I get from the heat is the self generated "breeze" of forward motion on the bike.  It's a real killer to climb hills with the wind at one's back - no breeze at all then.

First, the reader should note that I'm in the shade for this pic.  Hey - take your luck where ya can find it.  Second, I've never seen an entryway like this to a property, "Garner Covert Memorial Farm."  I'm certainly glad my name isn't Garner Covert.

Note the shaded rider in this pic again.  Susan and I both saw this out building and thought it was cool.  It was on a well cared for property with a nice house.  I think it's original construction.  I think Susan is leaning to new construction due to the shape of the windows.  Readers?

And finally - today's sign that the apocalypse is upon us...  

Susan has for some time been complaining that the roads in Missouri are narrow.  So she took the following string of three pics and showed them to me in order to make her point.  

This is a pic of the port side of The Rig viewed from the front.  Susan says the reader should note that the muffler for the generator overhangs the yellow dividing line between the lanes of travel.  This to say nothing of the mirror and how close the coach is overall to that same yellow line.

This is the starboard side.  Susan makes the same point here.  Chiefly that there is little in the way of lane width for her to play with as she maneuvers The Rig down the road.

And this is the view from the back.  She says The Rig doesn't like the trailer - makes her rear end look big.

For my part, I maintain that I can trim a couple inches off the generator's muffler, there's nothing to strike on the starboard side so she can overhang the white line to her heart's content, and that's why we bought a trailer with one wheel in the middle - no lane width worries.  I think she plans to hit me up for a new Union contract and has staked out her bargaining position.  Bah - my elevator may be slow, but it eventually goes all the way to the top.  I'm on to her game, having negotiated contract stuff in my previous life.

Finally, some musings on my part.  I spent a good portion of the day today trying to think of how best to describe Missouri to the reader.  Because trust me, it's an entirely different experience when viewed from a bicycle saddle.  Chiefly, me thinks, because one has the time to think on these things when moving at a more sedate pace.  And being widely renowned as a thinker, here's what I came up with.

There is some "wow factor" to what I've seen of Missouri to date - but ya kinda have to be looking for it since it doesn't jump up and bite ya like it does in the mountain west.  There is the occasional scenic vista with tree covered rolling hills in the mist shrouded distance.  There are some wild flowers alongside the road in places.  The creeks and rivers run clear and it's nice to stop and soak in the view occasionally.  The problem is that these are but fleeting moments.  More regularly, roadside overgrowth forces me off the shoulder and into the roadway.  (They apparently don't mow the shoulders here.) The countryside looks (is?) lush, but in riotous fashion: vines crawl on everything, weeds overgrow old buildings that might otherwise provide a nice photo op.  Even the wildflowers alongside the road look thorny in their tall, gangly sort of way.  One gets the sense that the countryside around here doesn't so much embrace man's intrusion into its space as it does tolerate us.  And at that, just barely.  It seems satisfied to patiently wait for the opportunity to return our best efforts to their natural state.

We'll see if that assessment holds up.

Till next time.

The Thin Blue Ride - Part 2 Day 64 - Ash Grove, MO to Marshville, MO (+9)

Sunday, August 11th, 2019

Ride Report: 58 Miles, 2,816 Total Miles, 14.8 Avg. mph, 4,380 Ft. Climbing, 5,261 Calories.  Check out those climbing numbers.  We haven’t seen +4k feet of climbing since Colorado.  It also serves to explain the correspondingly low average speed for the day.  The weather still isn’t cooperating either - humidity again.  Over 90% for the first two thirds of the ride.  I don’t know how to explain what a big deal this is.  So let me try this...

When I crawled into The Rig for my second break of the morning, I noticed that wherever I stood I was leaving puddles.  Then I noticed that my feet felt squishy.  Next I realized that so much sweat had run down my legs that it had soaked my socks, and my shoes were actually making squishing sounds as I walked.  The sweat was being forced out the cooling vents in the shoes - thus the puddles.  I asked Susan to get me a new pair of socks and squeezed out the sweaty ones.  (Outside The Rig - I'm not a Neanderthal.)  The puddle was the size of a dinner plate.  Amazing.  Of course, the trick in these conditions is to drink enough to stay adequately hydrated.  No small “feat”, if the reader will forgive the pun.

We're beginning to think that this may be the way of things for the foreseeable future.  If such is the case, we'll slog thru it.  But that doesn't keep us from hoping we get at least a bit of a break in the humidity.  BTW - Heat Warnings again tomorrow.

Right after leaving Ash Grove, Delta and I ran across this sign...

I was a little puzzled, but thought I knew.  Yup - the youngest son of Daniel Boone.  Apparently he built a cabin just off the road here in (I think) the 1830s.  So, let me get this straight.  If you're the son of a famous guy, the State will come along some 150ish years later and turn your house into a State Historic Site?  By that measure, the State of Missouri will at some point be erecting a Keith Schoen State Historical Site on Gladstone Boulevard in KCMO.  Readers should not hold their collective breath.

I like this shot.  It gives the reader some idea how steep a 14% grade is.  The problem is that once a rider stops on something like this, all momentum is gone - not that I had that much anyway.  It also affirms that when it gets warm around here, the pavement will actually slide down the hill.  That's my story and I'm sticking to it.  Ya had to be here. 

This pic (of the hill) also presents the opportunity to let the reader know that I had a chance at two more turtle saves today.  But alas, I saved neither turtle today, and my total for the ride remains at two.  Lest the reader think that some big pickup (there are a boatload of those around here) flattened said turtles just before I arrived to save them, such was not the case.  No, no, no.  It so happened that both of these turtles were crossing the road as I was climbing up particularly steep hills.  I saw them about 25 yards ahead.  When I got there, they both waved me off, saying they had seen the speed with which I ascended the hill and it would be quicker to do it themselves.  Oh sure, they seem all friendly and grateful when ya don't run over 'em, but when they show their true colors - not so much.  Stupid turtles.

OK - first, this was what the entire day was like.  Hill after hill after hill, ad nauseam.  But that's not the larger point.  That point being - there is a bit of an informal bragging rights competition when T/A riders cross Missouri.  The person who can take a pic showing the most hills wins. I've kept my eye out since entering the state and thus far, this is what I've got to offer: five.  (Ya count the one you're standing on - its in the official rule book)  The best I've ever seen in a blog post was seven.  I'll stay vigilant.

Susan continues to take pride in her ability to keep me in dry riding gear.  On this occasion she's drying my KSU jersey.  The sarcastic reader will make not of the billowing form of the jersey and assert that it's shaped just like me.  Well belay that thought, because... 

As the reader can clearly see from this pic, I'm more like the streamlined eagle logo used by the US Postal Service.  Not that I'd brag them up as a business model (they're shedding money like cats shed fur), but their logo is pretty slick.  Plus it looks speedy, fierce and focused.  So, streamlined, slick,  speedy, fierce, focused - yup - me in a nutshell.  And for the reader who insists, open the pic and look closely.  There's plenty of unfilled space in that jersey.  This was me pulling in to a rest stop.  (The previous two pics use by permission of Susan Schoen photography, LLC)

And speaking of rest stops, when I told Susan today that I don't think I pedaled a single flat section of route today, she initially agreed.  However upon further reflection she thought the parking lot of the Post Office in the above pic and the Wal-Mart in Marshfield were "pretty flat".  Have I mentioned this: hill after hill after hill after hill...

Ya don't see many of these signs around.  And why for just 4 miles?  Delta had a fit over this.  According to him, if I think he's gonna pull me around in one of those contraptions, "You got another think coming."  

OK - this was crazy.  Just as we were leaving Marshfield, there was this.  To make sure the reader can appreciate the work that went into this "art", check out the pic below. 

The VW is the one that caught my eye.  Its clearly been bobbed (shortened) and those yellow headers attached to the rear (used as what - wings, spoilers?) are to die for.  Unexplained is how (or why) the other car is sitting on those giant concrete Legos.

And these two as well.  According to the sign just out of the pic to the left,  there are, "races every Saturday night".  I don't think there is any way the track was more than maybe 100 X 200 yards?  And it was flat - no banked corners.  How do ya race on that if your name ain't Ricky Bobby?  This had to be the most unusual thing I saw all day.  Well, except for the snarky turtles.  Stupid turtles.

There ya have it readers.  Another day living the dream in Missouri, USA.

Till next time  

The Thin Blue Ride - Part 2 Day 63 - Pittsburg, KS (+5 to Missouri State Line) to Ash Grove, MO

Saturday, August 10th, 2019

Ride Report: 65 Miles, 2,758 Total Miles, 16.2 Avg. mph, 2,411 Ft. Climbing, 5,433 Calories.  Today, readers, was the most difficult ride of the trip to date.  While things didn’t start out too badly, the humidity still came into play early.  But as we worked our way further into Missouri, the hills became more...prominent, and the temperatures combined with the humidity reached insane levels.  I tracked the weather in Pittsburgh, Golden City and Ash Grove as the ride progressed.  All were in heat advisories starting as early as 1100.  It seemed I couldn’t drink enough.  On a typical ride I go thru a bottle of water in about 20ish miles.  Toward the end of today’s ride I went thru two in fifteen miles and ran out just as I made it to The Rig..

But enough of this - it is what it is - and no amount of wishing it wasn't what it is will change what is to something that might be.  You can quote me on that.  (Call my support line for an explanation if necessary: 1-800-266-3873.  That's 1-800-CON-FUSE)  Today's version of what is follows in pics.

The morning started off humid - fog again in Pittsburg.  But we had to dump tanks in the RV and then get some propane so the fridge would keep running, then we needed to drive to the Missouri State line (recall that's where we stopped when last I rode before the Rest Day) in order to start the day.  The fog had lifted by then. This pic was taken before the real sweating started.  There was a lot of corn early in the day.  On one occasion I could smell the corn field a couple of hundred yards before I got to it.  It has that uniquely sweet "corny" smell.  If you've ever smelled it, ya know what I'm talking about.

FINALLY!  Every Trans-Am'er whose blog I've ever read has a picture of them saving a turtle.  Some keep a tally.  Mostly they're encountered in Kansas, at least on the blogs I've read. I've seen tons of these things on the roads of Kansas over the years.  But when I'm riding the T/A?  Nope.  Well, one showed up on the road today in Missouri.  The tradition is that the rider takes the turtle to whatever side of the road they're headed toward and sets them loose - thus saving the turtle from being squashed by, oh, something like The Rig.  Susan saw this one when she went past.  Fortunately she left him in one piece for me to save.  It was much more pleasant for both the turtle and I that way.

And not a quarter mile later, Delta saw this one - and of course wanted the honors.  So he picked the turtle up and to the far side of the road it went.  This one is just a baby.  Note that he's so small he is barely bigger than Delta's pedal.  So, our tally for the day is two.

We crossed another Inter-State Highway today.  This time I-49.  Let's see, KC or Joplin?  How about neither.  We continued East.

OK - apologies to Coronado fans out there, but the guy wandered around how long and failed to find even one of the fabled seven cities of gold?  I'm just 30 miles in to today's route and I'm already in the money.  How much more obvious could it be?  Hey Coronado - next time buy an ACA map.

The reader should note the green sign on the post to the right.  Missouri has done an excellent job of marking the T/A route thus far.  These signs are placed at every turn, wherever highway numbers change, on the way in to and out of the various towns thru which the route passes, etc.  I'm pretty sure I could have navigated the route today even without an ACA map.  Just follow the green bicycle route signs.  They even give a nod to history - the "76" represents the year the T/A was first traveled - in honor of the nations bi-centennial.  I have one of the original T/A route signs on the wall of my garage at home.  Found it in an antique store in Abilene several years ago and bought it then, thinking that I'd some day ride the route myself. 

It was a challenge drying my gear between breaks today.  It was too humid outside for the stuff to dry before I showed up at The Rig for my next break.  So Susan adapted yesterday's trick with the fan (sitting on the floor in this pic) so that it could dry my headgear and base layer at the same time.  I think it's just a riot that the fan blows up the head gear like a balloon.  She has it clothes pinned and taped to the fan.  Hey - it works.  Who am I to complain?

While the first third/half of today's route had lots of crop land, by the time we got past the half way point, Missouri was starting to look like I imagined it to be.  Translate that as, the hills got both bigger and more frequent.  T/A'ers describe Missouri as one continuous, self-propelled, roller coaster.  All I know is, I saw my first 12% hill in ages on today's route.  Listen, 12% in the mountains with temps in the 50s and humidity non-existent is an entirely different ball of wax than with humidity running over 80% and the heat index in the 100s.  I'll take the mountains any day.  This pic is Missouri as I imagined it.

This is that 12% hill once we got to the top.  Note how the road disappears and then re-appears as a tiny little smudge of grey in the distance.

And as today's sign that the Apocalypse is upon us, I proffer this pic.  This was the name of the local watering hole in Everton, MO.  Who does this stuff?  (Shakes head.)

And finally, "AccuWeather" predicts two more days of high temps and high humidity.  They're talkin' heat indexes as high as 110 in some locations along the route.  Normally, I'd be comfortable with that and ride in ski pants and a parka, knowing they're usually 180 degrees off base.  But on this occasion my pessimism outweighs "AccuWeather's" incompetence, and I suspect they'll finally get it right.  If I should fail to post over the next two days, call 911 and send out the search parties.  They should be looking for a shriveled, dehydrated, prune shaped body - wearing spandex - on the side of the road.  Please have them shoo the buzzards away, gather up what remains when they find me, and ship my carcass someplace cold for burial.

Till next time.

The Thin Blue Ride - Part 2 Day 62 - Pittsburg, KS (Rest Day)

Friday, August 9th, 2019

Ride Report: None - Rest Day

With nothing else to report (Rest Days can be that way, but I guess that’s kinda the point.) I am forced to let the creative juices flow.  It’s kinda like freestyle ice skating.  It’s still really good, and it looks like they’re just out there just gliding around and winging it, but a lot went on behind the scenes before the crowd throws roses on the ice.  So - get your roses ready...

Laundry time again.  The problem with doing one's laundry early due to rain is that the set I wore to Pittsburg was soaked when I arrived.  So, I broke out the super deluxe model washing machine that doubles as our trash can and flipped the grey handle to the right, which is "washing machine mode".  Like magic - a washing machine appeared.  After the appropriate pre-soak cycle...

...it was time to agitate the load.  This is my back-up agitator.  The primary agitator said she was busy inside cooking bacon so she could feed me next week.  Well - I'm all in favor of that.  Having experience agitating...things, I gave it some extra time.  It seemed the wise thing to do.  Oh - and I left the primary agitator alone for a while, which seemed equally as wise in the moment.

Then it was time for the boys' baths.  Sig is out of the tub already, but Delta is still up there playing in the water.  Someday when they come home with a cute girl's bike, I'll use this pic to embarrass them.  Just look at 'em.  Neither is wearing their saddle bag.

And speaking of Delta, this is his saddle - but the boys have identical saddles.  Trust me, it's just easier that way.  Anyway,  I bring this up so that when I inform the reader that I spent about 20 hours in the saddle last week, they have a greater appreciation of what that actually means.  It means this: even my butt gets sore occasionally.

When I finally let Delta down from his bath he was running around like crazy - at least when he wasn't busy trying to rub his handlebars, and roll around on his back, in the grass.  I finally got him to stand still for a pic.  To date, I think the only pics of Delta the reader has seen are his selfies.  I think he favors Susan.  Just look at those sleek lines.  Readers?

And having mentioned spending 20 hours in the saddle last week, I looked for something a bit wider to spend today on.  I found it.  Not for quite 20 hours, but I gave it my best shot.

I know The Rig has shown up in the background of a couple of shots today, but I included this one as a way of showing that the City of Pittsburg has a nice little campground right on the route as riders enter town.  There are even showers and bathrooms for the self supported tourers.  We don't need them, but I know they're appreciated by those who schlep their tents, cooking gear, clothes, bike parts, water/food, etc. with them every day.  Susan and The Rig take care of all that for me.

Its been a good Rest Day - my legs always appreciate the break.  It gives my quads time to stop aching.  Tomorrow has us headed to Ash Grove, MO.  I think we've got a couple of days (maybe?) before we hit the line of demarcation between normal Missouri (if there is such a thing) and the Ozarks.  Pray for me.  I'm wearing spandex.

(Cue roses.)

Till next time.